User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/Writing Workshops with Para
Alright, so you've just arrived on the wiki, and there's a fight you've been itching to fight, to the point where it is driving you mad. So you pump out two analyses and write out a fight, and then deliver a conclusion as to why a character won. You're feeling quite satisfied with your work, but then suddenly you read another battle that someone else wrote - and it is so much better than yours that you feel less proud of your own work. This is something that's very common here, actually. Some newcomers will see a battle someone else wrote, and think it's something absolutely fantastic. And a lot of times, they will feel unaccomplished or discouraged with their own work. However, that is no reason to stop writing. No, it's actually a great reason to keep writing. Why? Because anyone who's ever written for over a year will tell you - you will improve. Now, my best advice I can give is 1. Keep writing, because you will improve, and 2. Read other peoples' work; see what makes them good. Really, if you follow that advice, you'll be able to write better in no time. However, there are still a lot of mistakes writers make - every writer makes a mistake of some sort. Every single writer will go and re-read their old work, regardless of how much time and effort they put into it and how good it ended up being, and will notice something that they could improve, even if the entire world is telling them that it's just about perfect. So what are some mistakes that you can avoid making to improve your writing, or basic tips? Well, every week, I'll give this wiki a tip to improve writing. And you guys will go from writing Taokaka vs. Blairs to Godzilla vs. Evangelion Unit-01s. Descriptions One of the first mistakes many writers make here is writing battles completely in script format - which, a little bit of script format isn't so bad in terms of character dialogue, but writing a fight completely in script format makes it difficult to really imagine. The reason script format is used for writing plays and shows is because those scenes will be brought to life. It's why the battles on the Death Battle Wiki are written in script format - because there's a show that brought the scenes to life. But in a battle that you're writing on the wiki, you really don't want to write in script format. Without a show to bring that story to life, it is up to you to bring it to life in words. In script format, you don't get that detail and emotion that you really need in a written story. And for many writers here, a written story is exactly what we're going for, since Death Battle is a show purely for entertainment. So the least we can do is make our battles entertaining as well. So let's take one of my famous battles, Godzilla vs. Evangelion Unit-01. And just compare what it would look like in script format to what it turned out to be: Script format: Godzilla roars, then pulls the bus off the ground and throws it at the EVA-01. The EVA dodges the bus. ''EVA-01 swings the dual chainsaw at Godzilla's chest. Godzilla dodges the swing. Godzilla drop-kicks the EVA-01 in the midsection and the EVA-01 falls to the ground. ''Shinji: Come on, EVA! You were supposed to aim for its gills! ''Godzilla walks over to the EVA-01 and fires his Atomic Breath at it. See how short and non-detailed that feels? Compare it to this: Godzilla roared as his blood splattered all across the city, then pulled that random bus off of the ground and threw it at the EVA-01. The EVA dodged the bus easily, but unfortunately for all the people in the bus... they had been thrown into the water. ''EVA-01 swung the dual chainsaw at Godzilla's chest, but Godzilla managed to dodge the swing easily. Godzilla then delivered one of his signature gravity-defying dropkicks of doom into the EVA-01's midsection, knocking it down onto the ground. ''"Come on, EVA! You were supposed to aim for its gills!" Shinji said to the mech. He watched in fear as Godzilla was looming over him yet again. "Not again..." ''This time, the EVA didn't roll out of the way as Godzilla fired a blue blast of Atomic Breath at it. ''The heat was getting to the EVA. Parts of it were melting off, and Shinji could feel the scorching heat from inside. In this case, we get a better idea of what's going on. It feels like an actual written story rather than a script someone wrote for a show. While you might think, "But this is Death Battle Fanon! This is supposed to be like the script for a show!", just remember that unless you are animating it, if it's like a script for the show, it's not going to capture the feel you want it to. You're presenting entertainment in book/story form - not in animation form. Now, let's take a look at Ahomeschoolingroudon's very own Malus vs Regigigas (used with permission, of course!): Regigigas starts to Fire, Ice and Thunder Punch Malus in the leg but Malus kicks him aside and starts shooting lightning at Regigigas but he avoids it and Dizzy Punches Regigigas but Malus catches him in midair and throws him to the ground and strikes him with lightning. Malus then attempts to stomp him however Regi evades the attack and starts scaling the colossus. Now, with no offense to Groudon (whose fights are getting to be some of the absolute best here, if we're being honest), this battle could be much better: Regigigas pulled back its arm, its fist ablaze with an orange-red flame. With one fluid motion, it delivered a hefty punch into Malus' leg. Malus stumbled upon impact from the blow, but before he could react Regigigas' fist began to glow with an ice-blue light as it struck Malus with a hard Ice Punch. A layer of frost materialized over Malus' leg, but the Colossus shook his leg as the frost fell off into icy chunks. ''Malus lifted up his leg in an attempt to kick the Regi giant, but then Regigigas delivered a third punch, this time with a lightning-infused fist as Malus felt his leg go numb. However, Malus did not let this get to him. Instead, he lifted up his other leg and kicked Regigigas square in the midsection. Regigigas began to tip over as Malus lifted up his hand, then released a blue bolt of lightning from his fingertips. However, without a moment to lose, Regigigas nimbly stepped to the side. ''Regigigas, now having regained his balance, pulled back his fist again and delivered a left hook, spinning his body with the weight of his fist and punching Malus in the torso. Malus was sent flying into the air from the impact of the blow, but before he could make too much distance he grabbed Regigigas by the forearm, bringing him up in the air with him. Still airborne, Malus pulled his arm back and then slammed Regigigas into the ground, then fired another bolt of blue lightning at the Colossal Pokemon. Smaller bolts of blue electricity began to crawl across Regigigas' body like ants, numbing the Regi and almost freezing him in place. ''Landing back on the ground and taking advantage of Regigigas' paralysis, Malus lifted up his leg and raised it to Regigigas' midsection and brought it down with a mighty force in an attempt to stomp the Regi - but with ever-so-convenient timing, Regigigas rolled to the side as Malus instead stomped into the dirt, kicking up dirt and grass into the air as Regigigas was unharmed from the attack. See that? If we're being honest, I could have done a lot better with that too - but that's just an example of what you can do if you don't use script format. Another thing you can do is write not only the cause of an attack, but the effect as well. If someone were to come at you with a baseball bat and swing it at your midsection, you wouldn't just deliver a punch to their face without reacting to the swing in some way. Did you block the swing with your hand? Or were you not fast enough and ended up getting our ribs cracked in the process? You want to make it look like the attacks are doing anything to the characters after the attacks connect, and not just when the killing blow happens either. Let's take a look: With blunt forces, such as punches, kicks, hits from a baseball bat, pole, or any other bludgeoning weapon, you want the character to feel a hard force from that hit. For example, a blow to the head might cause minor concussive results. A blow to the midsection might break ribs. If the character is wearing armor or made of metal, the metal might dent. With sharp forces, such as sword slashes, stabs, or bullets, you might have skin or clothing being cut, or in the case of armor and metal, that could simply be scratched or in some cases, cleaved right through. With elemental attacks, take note of what each element would do. Fire melts and burns. Ice freezes or creates extreme cold. Lightning stuns or paralyzes, and can also burn on occasion. Mental attacks could give characters headaches. Possession or anything having to do with ghosts could give chills. Whatever the case, every action has a reaction - and you want to showcase that reaction. Another thing is, when characters deliver attacks, they don't just deliver attacks. For example, if a guy with a bat is swinging that bat at you, how is he swinging it? Is he swinging it with two hands, horizontally? Or with one hand, vertically, in a crushing motion? Is he using the force of his whole body with it? Or is he just flicking it with his wrist? The little details like that matter a lot when writing attacks like that. Saying "He swung the bat at me" doesn't tell us a lot, just that he's swinging his bat at you. If you're going to dodge that swing, how are you going to dodge it? Are you going to jump back? Are you going to duck underneath it, matrix-style? Sidestep past it? Or are you going to stumble and your fall will haphazardly save you from the strike? Again, it really matters a lot. Saying "I dodged the swing" doesn't tell us very much, just that the bat never hit you. Finally, detail with dialogue matters a lot. If the guy with the bat misses his swing and goes "Damn!", how does he say it? Does he mutter it beneath his breath? Does he shout it out angrily? Does he yell it to the sky with relish? Do his eyes widen because he's impressed with your dodging skills, then go "Damn!" with a smile of excitement on his face? That makes a big difference, as it showcases a character's personality. If we don't know the characters very well, it really gives us an idea of what the character is like - and if you do this, you're bound to get people reading your battles even if people don't know the characters involved. Alright, so that's enough for now. See you guys next week! If there's a certain issue you guys would like for me to address, just let me know in the comments and I'll see if I can do an episode on it. See you guys later! Making Fights Longer A good while back, a user who sadly left this wiki complained about his fights not making it into the Hall of Records simply on the basis of them not scratching 1,000 words. And honestly, I find that a little interesting, because one, he had managed to write at least two 1,000-word fights in the past, and two, it's actually rather easy to make your fights over 1,000 words. In fact, getting past 2,000 words without much padding isn't very difficult to do either. But what about in the case where you feel like you can't do anything else without making the fight seem repetitive, or the characters just don't have enough abilities, or you are aiming for a ridiculously high word count? Well, there are ways of increasing your word count, but there are also incorrect ways of increasing your word count. First and foremost, something a lot of people have began to pick up on but still is sometimes left behind, is story. I dare say that if you're trying to create a long and intriguing battle, story is a good place to start, and is almost necessary if you want your fight to be long but at the same time immersive. You have to take something into account - on Wikia, there is no real demographic. We have a lot of male and female users, and many users in their early teens, and some who have entered adulthood. So targeting a specific demographic with your fight isn't exactly the best way to make your fight something memorable, but let me tell you: Everyone likes a good story. To start things off, why are these two characters who are from completely different universes (except in the case of same-series fights) suddenly in the same universe? Something a lot of people do is just have their universes just be one, as if they always were, and that seems to work just fine. Honestly, it's a bit too much to take in to try to explain it otherwise, and by the time you finally explain why Frank West is finally in the Yandere Simulator universe, you'll have lost your audience and they'll just skim down to see who wins. So, unless you're an astonishingly talented storyteller, it's best to just pretend like the two have always lived in the same universe and just never met until now. Alright, now that your characters have met, they need a catalyst for their fight. A very common way to instigate a fight (especially if the two characters are heroic in nature), I've seen, is for one character to misunderstand something about the opponent. For example, in AgentHoxton's Asura VS Superman (check it out, it's one of his best works), Asura believes Superman to be a threat to the world. Another way to do this (usually if the characters are villainous) is to give one a motive, and make the other blatantly in the way. A good example of this is ArachnoGia's The Lizard vs. Medusa Gorgon. In it, Curt Connors has a goal of taking down Spider-Man, but Medusa gets in the way. The idea is to simply make the two characters want to kill each other. In cases where the characters are too noble or too nice to want to fight each other, a good way to get the ball rolling is simply to force them into battle, like Chesknight's Katara VS Juvia Lockser, wherein Katara and Juvia are forced to kill each other by some sadist who will kill both of them if one of them does not kill the other. Makes it especially tragic when the two don't want to kill each other. What if you don't want to end it in death? Maybe the fight doesn't have to be one intending to be an all-out fight to the death, but perhaps a friendly duel. Examples of this are Erza Scarlet VS Saber (Yay look self-advertisements!), which takes place in a tournament setting, and Maxevil's Mickey Mouse vs Kermit the Frog which doesn't give much insight as to why the two are fighting, but maintains its lighthearted and friendly nature throughout. But enough on that. Once you've figured out your catalyst, it's time to have them fight. In my previous workshop, I discussed the importance of showing rather than telling. Small changes like "Lloyd slashed at Kirito" to "Lloyd pulled back both of his swords, then jumped up into the air and slashed both of them down upon Kirito's shoulders" will increase your word count immensely. That, along with giving characters actual dialogue rather than writing in script format will make your fights much longer as well. However, there is another side to this. When does a fight become too long, to the point where it becomes padded and uninteresting? First off, there are details, then there are unnecessary details. For example, if the audience already knows what a major element in the fight looks like (A sword, a mech, a fireball technique a la Ryu's Hadouken, etc.), then there is no need to describe it in full again. If a character is going to appear in a fight and play no real important role, or the appearance does not matter, then avoid describing that character in vast detail. For example: In my own Erza VS Saber (going back to that again), I purposely made sure I didn't spend too long describing Natsu, Lucy, Gray, Happy, Shirou, or Rin. Even though they all appeared in the battle, they didn't really play much of a role. However, the random mook that forfeits against Erza got a vast description to show just how under-prepared he was to fight Erza, and to give Saber exactly the opening she needed in order to look like the underdog of the fight. Now this is where it gets tricky. "But I ran out of things to make the characters do!" Well, if you've run out of plot points and abilities the characters have, you might as well end it. At this point, it's likely you've made it to 1,000 words. Seriously, even if you have a script format and avoid going too much into detail, and focus more on the fight, it can still break 1,000 words, and it can still end up being an entertaining fight. One of my favorite fights on the wiki, Nkstjoa's Taki vs. Mileena, does all of the above and manages to be a very entertaining and well-written fight using that minimalist format. He and AgentHoxton have consistently gone for that minimalist style and also consistently broken 1,000 words with their fights, so honestly breaking 1,000 words isn't that difficult to do. Do you know what happens if you pad your fight and include unnecessary details, and draw out a character's abilities well after you've worn them out? Well let me tell you. On DeviantArt, the fight "Hulk vs. Asura" (You can look it up yourself if you desire) is one of the most famous fights there. It is (or at least it was) called one of the best written battles on the site, and it's often cited as Dimension-Dino's Magnum Opus. Honestly? I find Hulk vs. Asura to be one of the most overrated fights I have read. Is it the worst I have read? No, it really isn't close to some of the really bad ones I've read before. But honestly, it's not close to some of the really good ones I've read either. The fight is full of padding and filler, it tries to convey emotions even though Hulk can be a really difficult character to connect to (The same cannot be said for Asura, however). As for the fight itself, it's really just fisticuffs that go on and on and on and on and on until a ship is thrown, and then the planet blows up. I mean, while reading it, I wanted to just get up and go grab a glass of water and a snack. The fight was long and gave off the illusion that it was extremely well-written, but honestly it just dragged on. And the reason is, Hulk is just a very difficult character to draw out. I don't blame Dimension-Dino for that, however. What I do blame him for is making the fight so much longer and less interesting than it needed to be. Compared to Nkstjoa's Hulk vs. Doomsday and Ahomeschoolingroudon's Hulk vs Solomon Grundy, it's pretty easy to see why Hulk fights rarely scratch 2,500 words - they just drag on. What can Hulk do? Well, he can hit stuff real hard, throw things, create shockwaves, get really really pissed off, tank hits really well... and that's about it. Characters without diverse arsenals are really tricky to work into long fights without looking really boring, to the point where I dare say it is impossible to do it. I have never seen Hulk be portrayed in a fight that was over 4,000 words that managed to hold my interest. In my opinion, the best example of a Hulk fight I have seen was FateStayFelicia's "Hulk vs. Eren Jaeger" (also on DeviantArt). That portrayed actual emotion, and didn't try to focus on anything from Hulk's end other than sheer rage. That one had all the action and drama that Hulk vs. Asura should have had, and while I personally believe Asura to be a much better character than Eren, Eren honestly has a lot more interesting ways to write his powers and abilities. And it created a genuinely funny but also thrilling moment when Eren ate Hulk alive, even if it was fairly obvious that Hulk would absolutely destroy. Oh, and on that note. Don't let a fight's one-sidedness scare you away from trying to make it interesting and even kinda long. One of the absolute best examples of this I have seen (Besides Fel's Hulk vs. Eren) is MagicRock's Ness VS Isaac - A planet-busting character up against a universal character. And it breaks 6,000 words. And it manages to be interesting and immersive the whole time. So, to wrap things up. Just remember. Story matters a lot. Motive matters a lot. Description matters a lot. Dialogue matters a lot. And if you feel like a fight cannot be extended without dragging on, just end it where it is. If you want to go for a really long fight, look at Yusuke Urameshi vs. Dante - that fight is over 16,000 words, and it's not just because Groudon is an excellent writer with a lust for high word counts - it's because both characters are full of personality, and they have incredibly diverse arsenals. You know why Doomsday vs. SCP-682 is much shorter than Shadow the Hedgehog vs. Mewtwo (my version)? Mostly because Doomsday and 682 have such short and uninteresting arsenals that it was impossible for me to make that fight long without it becoming boring. Shadow and Mewtwo, on the other hand, have vast arsenals and very defined personalities, making it a rather easy fight to make long. Say... ScrewAttack, I think you kinda screwed that up- *static* Okay, I have no clue what that was about, but I hope you've learned something today. By now, you guys should all be able to scratch that 1,000-word mark, and hopefully you guys have more confidence in hitting those higher word counts! I'll see you all later. Category:Blog posts